We aren’t “too sensitive.” However, if our partner continues saying that, we are probably experiencing gaslighting.
Everything starts small. Maybe our partner will not show on a date, and when we get upset, he or she will swear that both of you never made plans about a date. Or, if we planned, it wasn’t something serious – so, why are we so sensitive?
While our relationship develops, we feel insecure and off-balance more than we should, maybe like there is something not okay with us. We are probably experiencing gaslighting.
However, how is gaslighting defined?
Gaslighting is the pattern of abusive behavior on an emotional level, which is all about isolating and controlling someone else. The victims of gaslighting will start questioning their sanity.
When our partner breaks down our confidence in our feelings, thoughts, experiences, and perceptions, he or she will gain greater power over us – making it more difficult to escape his or her grasp.
Here are the seven super subtle indications which show that our partner is gaslighting us:
We keep asking ourselves whether we are “too sensitive” or not.
When we get upset with people who are gaslighters, they are going to minimize our feelings and deny that everything they did has been hurtful. Because of that, we will start questioning our emotions. Our common refrains could be “I didn’t know you were so touchy.” or “Stop being so sensitive!” although our reactions will be reasonable and legitimate.
They will gossip about our family and friends.
Gaslighters are usually going to tell us that our loved ones, such as friends or family, think we are crazy or talk really badly about us, or also betray us behind our backs. Almost always, these people haven’t done anything like that. Gaslighters do the so-called “splitting” in order to reduce our trust in our support system unless we break away from them.
We catch our partner in some weird small lies.
Gaslighters lie continuously, even about some things where they don’t have a reason or incentive to lie. Moreover, they are frequently denying the truth regardless of how obvious that truth may be. Their purpose will be planting doubt in us as they believe in their lies too.
They will always make us feel much better, after all.
Dating gaslighters may become an infinite cycle of downs and ups, with them controlling everything. For instance, they are going to tear us down in order to build us up one moment after that. This will create a feeling of anger and frustration but even love on some occasions.
They will question our memory.
Gaslighters are going to tell us that what we saw, experienced, or heard, didn’t happen at all – or that we remembered it wrong. Then, they are going to correct our story, although our vision has been 100% accurate.
They are super paranoid when it comes to cheating.
Every person in the world wishes never to be cheated; however, gaslighters are going to think that we cheat on them even when we have done nothing special to show we have gone outside of the relationship. In fact, this will dial up our insecurity, forcing us to defend ourselves against some imaginary accusations.
Their “jokes” are not funny at all.
A gaslighter is going to take a jab at us, but often couch that jab as some joke or even say he or she is “only kidding,” although he or she aims a dagger at our heart. He or she attacks the foundation about who we are or what we love about ourselves, from our identity to our talents and career.