Loyalty is a trait that doesn't get enough credit — but it really, really should. It's not as flashy as dizzying good looks or sparkling chemistry, but loyalty is one of those important relationship traits that's going to get you through the long haul.
Naturally, there are going to be times where your relationship just isn't as exciting and you become bored — or even tempted by someone else. Even if you’re deeply in love with your partner, it’s perfectly normal to occasionally question your relationship.
Everyone has doubts from time to time, whether it’s about the future of the relationship or if your partner truly is 'The One.' As long as the doubts aren’t lingering and constant, they're normal and even healthy." And when you have those doubts, loyalty is one of those things that will remind you why you love that person.
So how can you tell if someone will be loyal or not to you? How can you tell if your partner will be loyal? Here are some hints that your partner isn't loyal to you, even if they haven't cheated.
1. THEY FLIRT
A little banter never hurt anyone (probably) but there's a point where it crosses a line into disloyal flirting. Being flirtatious with the intent to feel the situation out. When someone is talking to someone and throwing little hints out in order to see if there’s a chance that they can get with them; that’s disloyal — even if nothing physical actually happened.
2. They Treat The Relationship Like It's A Chore
If they seem fed up with the relationship — or the relationship seems like it's stalling — it's going to feel like crap. They are not putting energy into the relationship , and you simply date when it's convenient. Relationships should progress, not stay stagnant. But more than feeling crappy, it may be a sign that they're not going to be loyal, because they're just not taking the relationship seriously.
3. They Have Cheated In The Past
Cheating in a prior relationship doesn't necessarily mean they will cheat on you too — but it might. Our past shapes us but it doesn't define us. So your partner cheating in a past relationship doesn't necessarily mean that they will cheat on you... No matter what the root cause, you want to see that they are addressing the issue so it doesn't happen again. If they haven't addressed the root cause, however, they might have loyalty issues.
4. They Don't Think Long-Term
If they're not considering or talking about the future with you, they might not be all that invested in the present either. Someone who doens't take you into consideration for the long-term wants to take each day as it comes rather than focus on a future with you. When someone views a relationship as temporary, it's a sign they may not be loyal. Because if it's only fleeting, the relationship may not really matter to them.
5. They Undermine You
As Van Hochman says, loyalty and respect go hand in hand. So if they don't have respect for you, they might not be very loyal. There's a common misconception that respect between romantic partners means control, meeting demands or subjugation.
Respect is synonymous with admiration for one another and the ability to understand that they see life differently than you. Seeing them for who they are and what their beliefs are rather than trying to mould them into what we think they should be.
Respect is celebrating each other's differences and each other's potential for growth without imposing our own beliefs. I always say, when you choose a partner, you're gaining a new set of eyes to see the world. Having respect in a relationship is the ability to understand that perspective. And if you don't have that respect, they may not be invested enough to stay loyal.