I remember all the sleepless nights i had when i was dealing with you. Looking back i can't believe i stayed for as long as i did. I guess you can call it wishful thinking.
Hoping that one day you would love me back the same way i loved you. Hoping that one day you would wake up and realize what you had in front of you.
Looking back at where i was and where i am now i could never be that same woman i once was. I allowed you to disrespect me in ways i would've never thought i allow someone to do.
I was so blindly in love with you that i ignored all the red flags you kept throwing at me, those same red flags i ignored became the same red flags that caused my heartbreak.
I'm not mad at you as much as i am mad at myself, for allowing someone as low as you betray me in all the different ways that you did. I wanted us to work so bad that i let you get away with treating me wrong.
I knew i deserved better, but i wanted that better to come from you not anyone else. So i stayed and pour all my love into someone who could care less whether i left of stayed.
I was torn between walking away and giving it another chance. Torn between loving you but wanting to hate you for putting me through everything that you did.
Loving you as much as i did was my weakness, not appreciating me was yours. You took me for granted. Tore our relationship to pieces and expected me to clean it all up.
You were the cause of my depression and anxiety. You played with my emotions so much so that i became depressed. I was so good at hiding it nobody ever suspected it.
My anxiety was thru the roof, yet i stayed in hopes that my love would be enough to make things work. That my love for you would one day be proof enough that it would make you love me right back.
I've learned through it all. It was a hard lesson learned, but i learned that no matter how much you love someone it will never be enough if they are not ready for your type of love.
They will take and take to the point where they will drain the joy out of your life if you allow them. I will never beg my way back into the arms of a man that broke me.
I spent way too many sleepless nights crying over someone who didn't deserve me. It took the strength of God to walk away to be stupid all over again.
I did everything i could do, said everything i could say. I compromised in ways i never thought about compromising for a man. I was patient, i waited, i prayed, i loved you wholeheartedly and it just wasn't enough.
So now that i found myself and found the strength to walk away don't come crawling trying to manipulate your way back into my life promising me a change that will only last 2 weeks.
My mistake was loving you as much as i did. Your mistake was never realizing the type of woman you had by your side. You are no longer worth anything to me. My happiness is worth more than your broken promises.