Men don't become men by age. Many don't become men until they overcome the relationships that taught them wrong, that tolerated their wrong and gave them room to think wrong.
When hurt boys become men, they tend to become men who think respect is demanded as opposed to commanded – which is why their grown-boy relationships consists of mainly junk food until they're healed.
Men spend the first half of their life running around trying to figure out what matters to them and what doesn’t, and the second half finding their purpose and pursuing it. When they know what they want, everything else becomes trivial.
You could be clear on what you’re looking for in a partner, but unable to make it work because he is simply not willing to fix internal issues to deserve a good woman like you.
Everybody who wants to hold you won’t be able to handle you. A man who is running away from unhealed parts of himself will never be able to love a woman correctly.
In order for a man to love correctly he has to accept he is the issue instead of manipulating his way into making the woman in his life feel guilty for requiring to be loved properly.
A man's first relationship is with his mother – or significant female influence. If this one relationship toxifies instead of teaches, he will have to recover from his childhood before reaching and being able to function in adulthood. Hurt boys don't become men until they unbecome what happened to them when they were boys.
Men don't grow out of damage, they work out of damage. Hurt boys don't change because of how much somebody loves them, they change when they start to love themselves enough to want to change.
They aren't eligible for grown love until they get grown. Until they unbecome damaged children. As long as they stay damaged, they will attract damaged grown children and hurt people who try to love them.
Wanting to be loved correctly shouldn't start arguments. But for a man who doesn't see an issue within himself will make you feel like you are asking for too much.
Being loved, shown affection, consistency, and being respected are basic principles that make any relationship work. If that seems to be too much for him to offer, you are dealing with a man who is not ready to be what you need him to be.
No relationship should feel like you have to force them to treat you decently. Man are not stupid they know when they are not living up to their full potential. They know when they are treating their woman wrong.
Self-love changes people, age doesn't, no amount of love does and codependency doesn't. You can provide a safe place for somebody to heal but you cannot heal them. When the little boy in a man is healed, a king rises up.
Until a man is honest with himself he will be toxic to every woman he tries to be in a relationship with. No amount of love will ever be enough if he is not ready to change.
You can love enough to inspire the change but eventually it comes down to how much he really wants to change. Sometimes walking away regardless of how much you love them is the best solution. Your absence might bring forth the change that your presence didn't.
Your job as a woman is not to raise a grown man, your job is to love him but not to the point where it breaks you down. Promise to love you better so that you never have to deal with a man who makes you feel like you are hard to love.
That you will never again emotionally betray yourself or break promises to yourself about accepting less than you deserve. You are better than that decision, you're better than what they offered and you are better than letting someone who didn't qualify for you make you cry for them.
Apologize to yourself for offering your love at a discount, and never go back on your word. Recommit to you and your value, and move forward with expectation for nothing but the best.